British based players in British based clubs were forced today deny they are seeking to change the size of a standard football pitch ‘to put off foreign opposition’.


‘It’s what we want after Brexit’ one of them was heard to say.

Barcelona and Spanish clubs play too wide, it’s just not fair they said.

Britain currently seeks to extract itself from the European Union and had never a taste for joining the French and the Bosch in a European monetary alliance.

‘It’s not just about our Egg and chips, it’s about our pint too’ said somebody from the Interior ministry.

“If they don’t like our bangers n mash, steak and kidney they can sling their bloody hook” a commentator said when being interviewed in Macclesfield.

In the meantime they all had adjourned presumably to sing ‘Land of hope and Glory’




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