GATES OF HOPEMARCH 24, 2021|SHORT STORY
GATES OF HOPE
The darkness fell behind William, while he slowly walked down the path back home. He tried to recall his steps, but the dense clouds covered everything around him, and his surroundings turned into a maze he couldn’t remember.
Just a few hours ago, sunlight illuminated the beautiful landscaping of the Andean mountains—now he was only able to see a few steps in front of him.
I’m lost, he thought, noticing that the heavy mist stood lifeless on top of him. I’ll have to find shelter.
Nevertheless, the first drops of rain fell on his forehead and his possibilities for survival diminished.
The mountain is treacherous to those who are not aware of its signs. The day was supposed to be relaxing, although William had almost forgotten all the troubles awaiting him back home.
Perhaps this was the way the universe answered his prayers. After all, William had been repeating in his mind, over and over again, his desire to get away from his problems. Life was giving him what he wanted in the least expected way.
William moved quickly through the branches and bushes of an unfamiliar forest. Trying in vain to find shelter from the rain. To his surprise, the hill had prepared an abandoned tunnel for him. There, he could hide from the rain… although he was not the only one seeking shelter.
Even in a forest so close to a city, nature laws expanded its domain. Unknowingly, William found peace when he saw the perfectly circular cave entrance at the distance, and without consideration for his safety he entered it.
The tunnel looked like a human construction without an apparent function. It seemed like a pipeline to prevent landslides, William thought unsure of his imagination. The scarce sunlight only reached a few meters inside the artificial cave, beyond it one could only see an endless dark void. Even the sounds of his step seemed different, from what he was used to, as he walked inside.
William did not intend to inspect the cave, staying only at the entrance to cover himself from the rain—trying not to look at the depth that seemed to call his name. It was impossible for him to remain calm without knowing that something else could be found in the dark. So he took his cell phone and turned on his flashlight.
Lying against the tunnel wall was a creature with bare skin and long thin arms—with deep dark circles around its eyes. William blinked, holding his breath and noticed with surprise that the figure disappeared.
I have to get out of here, he told himself, turning to see the heavy rain falling outside the cave.
“Where are you going?”
The deep voice came suddenly. William lost control of his body, he even tried to scream, but fear kept him frozen for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he regained his breath and slowly turned to look inside the cave.
It’s all in my head, he thought to reassure himself. As his body stopped trembling.
A pair of glowing eyes appeared in the tunnel. William graved his cell phone to illuminate the darkness, but he couldn’t see the lurking creature.
I should have a signal by now, he thought while looking at the screen of his cell phone. When a loud sound, like the bursting of two rocks, came from the deepness of the tunnel.
I rather get wet by the rain, William thought and turned to walk out of the cave. Then, he saw a panther for the first time. The animal lurked slowly under the rain—driving its powerful paws on the mud with every step.
William’s mind went blank, he finally managed to lose focus on everything that wasn’t behind the menacing eyes of the beast. A strange sensation, almost like a wave took everything with it, just like the feeling of having lost everything. The only thing left was right in front of him.
Without consideration, William ran back into the tunnel—the darkness absorbed him completely and after a few steps the ground disappeared under his feet. The fall didn’t seem to have an end, meanwhile William couldn’t imagine what would happen when his body crashed at the bottom. Somehow, the only thing he could see was the present.
William flew through a perpetual darkness; floating on an endless void. Until, to his surprise, his back made contact with a wall that gradually slowed his fall, and safely let him at the foot of a stone slide.
There, a brightly shining light blinded him for an instant. William looked at the source of radiance and understood, this was the reason why his ancestors hid the most precious treasures in the heart of a volcano.
Knowledge engulfed him like a cascade of wisdom crashing over his head.
William’s eyes widened when the rescue team secured him to the helicopter’s stretcher. The search party had been looking for him for two weeks, although for him it felt just like a couple of hours.
Few know the secrets of our ancestors, and despite his attempts, William wasn’t able to find the portal’s door again.
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January 22, 2021
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vermavkv March 24, 2021 at 11:05 pm
- Sebastián Iturralde April 15, 2021 at 6:40 amThanks, I was lucky enough to write this fleeting idea.Loading…reply
RainbowBunny March 25, 2021 at 12:48 pm
The imagination in your stories really keeps me entertained. Have a great day! Loading…reply
johnpfmcguire April 14, 2021 at 4:25 pm
I found this Lovecraftian but more relatable, warmer, more accessible vocabulary, and I loved the mention of the “ancestors” at the end: right there it just evoked such awe and love. I’m going to keep reading these.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 14, 2021 at 4:34 pmI’m glad you liked it and I hope you enjoy the rest.Loading…reply
Wild Race Africa Safari Tours April 15, 2021 at 6:21 am
Awesome blog, I want to read moreLoading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 15, 2021 at 6:42 amTake a look around, there’s a lot more coming.Loading…reply
ohiocook April 18, 2021 at 6:27 pm
Bicycle Odyssey April 19, 2021 at 7:19 pm
I love that you have English and Spanish versions of your story. Which language did you first write it in? Gracias!Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 20, 2021 at 7:05 amThanks. It all depends on the mood of the day.Loading…reply
jiisand April 19, 2021 at 7:54 pm
As a 95 year old fart trying to make sense of a civilization celebrating its rush to several possibilities of obliteration I much appreciate the struggle of a few people to accept the intricate puzzle of current existence.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 20, 2021 at 7:21 amIt’s an honor to be read by some one like you. I hope you enjoy my tales.Loading…reply
- jiisand April 20, 2021 at 9:35 amSince I am at a total loss to discover even a theoretical way to reverse the possibilities of frightful obliterations in the very near future of this entire planet I am certainly not in a class to deserve any honors. The several hundred offerings on my site of a rather peculiar attempt at poetry extend no more opportunities than the chirp of an optimistic sparrow caught in a tsunami.Loading…reply
- Employee Rights Attorney Orange County California April 26, 2021 at 12:02 amI enjoyed the visit to William’s world. Seems like the enlightenment is so often preceded by the cataclysmic fall.Loading…reply
kkfoundation21 April 20, 2021 at 6:53 am
wow! this is beautiful. I have learnt alot.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 20, 2021 at 7:04 amI’m glad and I hope you enjoy my other short stories too.Loading…reply
Stephen Erdmann April 20, 2021 at 2:00 pm
I will share your site on my Facebook page!Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 20, 2021 at 2:08 pmThat means a lot to me, thanks.Loading…reply
- Joy A Carlson April 26, 2021 at 5:14 amInteresting. There’s a promise of a good story here, but also something missing. I apologize if that sounds harsh. I don’t mean it to be. As a writer, I try to encourage those who are good to become better. To those that aren’t, I say nothing. There’s too much negativity on the web as it is.Loading…reply
senseneedify.com April 21, 2021 at 12:56 am
Its a good piece. Nice short story.Loading…reply
senseneedify.com April 21, 2021 at 12:59 am
I shared it to facebook.Loading…reply
messengerofwholeness April 21, 2021 at 5:52 am
- Sebastián Iturralde April 23, 2021 at 8:41 amiîLoading…reply
- messengerofwholeness April 23, 2021 at 8:42 amLove/light beautiful reflection.Loading…reply
Mary Cates Author and Freelance Writer April 21, 2021 at 8:52 am
As another author, I love the way you write. Obvious, that you have beautiful talent. However, I do not see the certainty of creative energy coming from nature, but from the God who created it. Yet, in my opposing opinion I can meet you on other grounds and enjoy your posts. Therefore, I wish to follow your blog. Thank you for “liking one of my posts.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 21, 2021 at 9:57 amI really appreciate it and hope the creative energy flows through us.Loading…reply
Anand Bose April 22, 2021 at 11:57 pm
Manyata April 23, 2021 at 11:14 pm
Your post was greatLoading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 24, 2021 at 6:50 pmThere are many more waiting to be read. Thanks.Loading…reply
sirkevinshistoricfacts April 24, 2021 at 6:34 am
Good read. Thank you so much for reading my blog this morning. Please subscribe for next blog.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 24, 2021 at 6:50 pmI’m glad you liked it and thank you for the invitation.Loading…reply
Unishta April 24, 2021 at 7:08 am
scary and hopeful at the same timeLoading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 24, 2021 at 6:51 pmA good reader can make any story meaningful. Thanks.Loading…reply
SamanthaBrunellaMedugno April 24, 2021 at 10:05 am
Thank you for your Hint about the Sight of civil strory comparings, I will have a look at your Site as I understand it is all about the natural Civilized – civil , Culture – Story as to leave a note to every-body and anyone who might and may want to avoid any clash and crash of Civilized Parrallels –
The Site looks quite nice with my best greetings and salutations
smilings;@)Sorrisoni’Samantha B. Medugno on todays day
Saturday twentyfour/24. April 2021 from Mercogliano AV ItalyLoading…reply
Cynthia Sharp April 24, 2021 at 7:22 pm
Well written! Suspenseful and evenly paced!Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 26, 2021 at 4:21 pmI tried to take you on a journey alongside my characters. I’m happy you enjoyed it.Loading…reply
www.beautifulday101.wordpress.com April 25, 2021 at 7:23 pm
Beautiful ! Thank you for liking my post for Spiritual Life Coaching. A great gift to give for Mother’s Day. Namaste KatharineLoading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 26, 2021 at 4:23 pmI’m happy you found it beautiful, Katharine. It was a pleasure visiting your blog.Loading…reply
dla1950 April 26, 2021 at 9:49 am
A stimulating read.Loading…reply
oldned April 26, 2021 at 12:22 pm
Understand you like my “Kleshas”. Good knowing someone read it. Thanks.Loading…reply
Roberta Dennis April 26, 2021 at 6:39 pm
Thank you so much for your support! GOD BLESS YouLoading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde May 2, 2021 at 10:07 amWe’re here to support each other. I hope to see you back soon for more short stories.Loading…reply
sharingknowledge April 28, 2021 at 1:57 am
Excellent read, which would certainly appeal to teenagers. Well done.
- Sebastián Iturralde April 29, 2021 at 9:51 amI appreciate it, Phil. I’ll look for them and share my stories.Loading…reply
Peter April 28, 2021 at 7:29 am
What I like is the comparison between what life looks like, as compared to the possibility of an eternity apart from light and safety.
I think that William only thought he wanted an escape, what he really needed was some perspective.
God offers light and love, especially when are not looking for that.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 29, 2021 at 9:52 amTrue, we just need to be open and expect the light when it shows up.Loading…reply
Daily April 29, 2021 at 8:43 am
For all time sake, Take me and you for example, we both make post right. But what is different from each other is that we have different styles and you wanna know what’s better than style. Your Stories Are, How do you get so good at this
If you don’t know who i am, my name is charles and just like you i make post, but mine are daily and my mission is to ensure that everyone can be educated in the best way, in another words I Make sure high school and college students are well educated. have a nice day.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde April 29, 2021 at 10:18 amPractice Charles, it’s all about practice.Loading…reply
- Daily May 4, 2021 at 6:59 amindeedLoading…reply
Annie Berger April 29, 2021 at 9:04 pm
Beautifully written tale as you caught my interest right from the beginning and held it to the end. Keep on writing more!Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde May 2, 2021 at 10:08 amI’m glad you enjoyed my short story. I’ll try to make more like it soon, see you next time.Loading…reply
Patricia A. Guthrie May 1, 2021 at 8:50 pm
- Sebastián Iturralde May 2, 2021 at 10:09 amIt was a pleasure, and I hope you’re enjoying my short stories. I’ll be posting more next week.Loading…reply
hiteshnew May 2, 2021 at 1:42 am
Awesome.. good to know u.. appreciate u reading blog n liking it.. spread the wordLoading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde May 2, 2021 at 10:10 amI’m glad you enjoyed my short story. We’re here to help each other, see you back soon.Loading…reply
Ashok Misra May 2, 2021 at 8:34 am
Nice narrative! Carried out so well. Enjoyed reading!Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde May 2, 2021 at 10:11 amI appreciate your comment and I’m happy to know you enjoyed my story. I hope to see you back soon.Loading…reply
threewheelsonmywaggon May 3, 2021 at 1:46 am
Different, I liked it.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde May 4, 2021 at 4:05 pmMakes me happy to know you liked it. I’ll try to come up with more stories like it in the near future.Loading…reply
sykeology219 May 3, 2021 at 10:37 pm
I like how you post in Spanish and the English translation. You might enable me to brush up on my Spanish.Loading…reply
- Sebastián Iturralde May 4, 2021 at 4:30 pmThat would be great, you won’t only let your imagination free but also brush up your Spanish.Loading…reply
amey May 5, 2021 at 7:07 am
- Sebastián Iturralde May 5, 2021 at 11:25 amIt makes me happy to know you liked it. I’ll come up with more. See you back soon.Loading…reply
mildredprincewelch May 5, 2021 at 6:06 pm
“Hope forces and influences Wishes come True
brining us through the darkness into lightness respossible for us
surviving and conquering all and whatever challenging us.” _-Van PrinceLoading…reply
- Sebastian Iturralde May 11, 2021 at 3:07 pmDedication seems like the secret to conquer the unknown. Your beautiful words will guide our paths.Loading…reply
- mildredprincewelch May 11, 2021 at 3:37 pmThank you!Loading…reply
timmytaes May 6, 2021 at 2:46 am
A few typos. But an interesting story. What is the point of the story? What is the protagonist’s motivation? Why is he in the Andean mountains? Back story is important. I’ve always found it the most interesting part of any story. The little details make story interesting to the reader. I remember what my godfather and writing mentor told me, “Rewrite, rewrite, rewrite; and always think of the audience.”Loading…reply
gwnorth45 May 7, 2021 at 2:06 pm
I too found the story intriguing. I write novels, SF, and Fantasy. Your story shows great promise. You have great imagination. Except for so e minor continuity problems, it’s a good story. My personal opinion, It needs expanding iti a full novel, with the hinted at characters fleshed out. All in all though, it was a good read.
Seeeeya; Chief Longwind of the NorthLoading…reply
- Sebastian Iturralde May 11, 2021 at 4:01 pmThanks Chief, I’ll keep it in my mind. For now I’m just glad you enjoyed it. See you back soon.Loading…reply
@estelaracho May 9, 2021 at 6:42 am
I like the story.theres thrill.i can imagine how can he escape from this beast or can he able to keep the beast calmly.Loading…reply
- Sebastian Iturralde May 11, 2021 at 4:39 pmThanks, It makes me happy to know you liked it. There are some beasts we can’t control.Loading…reply
Ramak Namak May 11, 2021 at 9:27 am
You draw a picture with words!Loading…reply
- Sebastian Iturralde May 11, 2021 at 4:51 pmThanks, I hope you can see all my pictures to come.Loading…reply
Positive Posts May 11, 2021 at 2:04 pm
Well done. I love the bit of being in the present and then losing the porthole. I feel a compelling story with spiritual insights coming from you. And of course I expect a signed copy in the first editionLoading…reply
- Sebastian Iturralde May 11, 2021 at 4:55 pmIt’s good to know you enjoyed it. Of course, I just hope someday I’ll become a print published author.Loading…reply
scaledflower May 12, 2021 at 1:15 am
Great writing. I didn’t expect the panther. A scary surprise. Your writing really puts the reader in the moment that the character is in.Loading…reply
rekindledcorner May 12, 2021 at 5:57 am
William Propsner May 12, 2021 at 3:15 pm
Great story. Had fun reading it. Very interesting ending.Loading…reply
Lawrence Morra May 12, 2021 at 6:20 pm
Your Blog is so polished and professional and this one is written suspenseful! Good luck to you and do what you feel in your heart of course!
God bless you!
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